It was my birthday on Sunday. It was very mellow as I had enjoyed quite a bit of wine on Saturday, as we sometimes do….all of us!
Yesterday it occurred to me that I’m kinda starting over, and to be a certain age with a blank piece of paper in front of you is scary and exciting and tiring.
I’ve also got a weird feeling about the life I had 62 days ago. It’s almost like it never existed. Like a wall has constructed itself to contain that world. Inside the wall is a hole, but it’s not empty, there is colour and memory, experience and learning. Time well spent.
I fell into that world, perhaps it’s time to be thoughtful, to consider where I want to leave my mark and what the hell that mark is? You know those folks who always had a dream, who knew exactly what they were going to do with their lives, do you envy them, just a little?
Can’t I just stay home with the dogs, get more dogs?!?! Walk in the sun, the snow. Go the the gym, meet friends on maternity leave in the afternoon? Organize my closet, the kitchen cupboards, the garage…again. I find myself wondering about working at Home Depot, part time, just for fun….STOP! Step away from the computer.
This is a gift of time, not a time to fall, to jump.
This is a time to consider, and then step, purposefully.