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Smash The Dark Mirror

Part Three of Three

In his book Flourish, Martin Seligman recommends that each night we take ten minutes to reflect on the day and write down three things that went well, and WHY they went well.

They don’t have to be life-changing events, just three things that make you say ‘yeah, that was good’.

The premise is that we tend to focus and ruminate on things that didn’t go well, rehashing old events and stories in our heads and we don’t spend sufficient time acknowledging what went well. This lack of positive thought can lead to anxiety and depression.

Humans are hard on themselves and often self-criticize, “I could’ve done more today, been kinder, more patient, should’ve tried harder, ate less, called my mother, handled this, cleaned that, been better“.

When you spend too much time alone it’s even easier to start looking in a dark mirror, to start feeling helpless about your situation, and to slowly diminish your ability to choose appropriate emotional reactions.

If reflecting on what went well helps mitigate the effects of negative thoughts then we need to put ourselves in situations where things can go well. Situations where we feel purposeful, creative, smart, valued….

It’s not the same journey for everyone so whatever path you choose to follow make sure it fills your bucket, that you’re excited, proud and happy.

Smash that dark mirror; give yourself a break and acknowledge the ‘did wells’… because you did do well today.


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